i'm fighting

I've removed this blog from my profile.

Many of my audience is Japanese who follows my dog blog. There is no point for them to see this blog's title in my profile. Some of them can read English, but this blog is too personal for them. They don't have to know what books I read or what opinion i have for some specific matter unless it's about my dogs. Some might be interested in stranger's personal life, then i don't feel comfortable for it.

See, I have some good reasons to vanish this from my profile. What happened next? I hardly post in here since then.

I swear there was no intention to quit the blog or I was willing to become a laziest blogger. but it just happened.

I realized that the sense to be seen is very good motivation to keep doing something. Like a running on the busy street in the cool running wear. In the first place i'm doing this only for myself i mean for my sake, but gradually the laziness tries to befriend with me. Gradually I would accept him. Then procrastination starts.

Now i'm struggling to fight back the laziness. You'll see..

To be continued hopefully.

Jewelry for a cause

My daughter and her friends had a little booth in their school fair. They sold hand made jewelry, bracelets and flowers. They are raising money for animal shelters. For putting the booth, they had some meetings with the Principle and convinced him. They made beautiful leaflets to explain what they are helping for. They've spent a lot of time for work on their jewelry and bracelets. Here they were. Within 3 hours, they raised 350 dollars!! It's quite a money kids can earn. I wonder how I can get such amount of money by myself..no way for me. I'm so impressed and proud of them.

reading

Yes, finally I had time to read at my favorite spot.

I was in this local library with my kids and their friend. While they were researching on the project I made myself comfortable on this sofa. The room I was in was the mystery section. There are four comfortable seats which are upholstered by nice damask. The very last arm sofa which faces its back to the aisle is my favorite one. That makes me face only to the bookshelves, so I was completely surrounded by thousands of books. Even though I was reading my kindle I still love the books which made out of paper and ink. I love their physical weight and especially the smell. What was I reading? I know I have a lot of un-read books in my kindle most of them are so informative and enlightmental, occasionally for my challenge and my knowledge I read them. However the idle gravity always pulls me to the easy thrilling reading. Now I'm reading 'If tomorrow comes' by Sydney Sheldon. The heroin is always strong and beautiful and super lucky all the time in his story. There was the saying, "you can go anywhere without moving an inch, this is what the books for." Mmm...I like it!

bike new york

I can't believe we did it. We rode all the way 42 miles.

It was 8am at the South of Central Park. We started the tour from this point. Two years ago we lined up at the starting point, Battery Park at 7:30am, it was so crowded with participants that we had to push our bikes till the district of the wall street. It was raining and cold we were so miserable. Being all wet and exhausted became an enough excuse to leave the tour at the Central Park. We've learned the lesson from that experience.

The weather cooperated us this year. We peddled lightly on the path of Central Park which were filled with beautiful flowers and new green of endless trees. After the park we entered Harlem. The scenery had been changed completely. All the beautiful green had disappeared and I saw a lot of stores with guarded by iron shutters and spray painted old brick walls. I wondered "Am i hearing the music?" Yes, I was. some group of people played drums to cheer us up with Zumba. After while, I heard girls singing gospel. It was so heart warming.

Then we reached the second boro Bronx and turned our backs to the south again. We rode back on the east side of Manhattan and reached at the Queensboro bridge. That place is where we parked our car. we were supposed to leave the tour at this point. But we didn't! As a matter of fact I was ready to leave the tour, but my girls didn't. They begged me to continue the race. Well..we weren't tired yet and weather was nice..there was no reason to quit. We continued peddling with a slight anxiety of where we were heading and how we can get back!!

The course led us to Astoria, Queens which was the third boro we entered. The atmosphere was so homey. We rode in between the tiny cozy houses, some residences came out to watch us cheerfully or curiously. Then we reached Brooklyn the forth boro. I thought we had reached Soho or some cool arty place. That was Williamsburg. There we came. the Brooklyn bridge was the last chance for us to get back to Manhattan otherwise we have to ride till the goal. I didn't even dream of finishing the tour. Now we must leave. However, my girls again. "Mom! once you started, you have to finish!" Yyyeeessss...but can we? "Yes, we can!" then we kept peddling.

From that point to the Verenzano bridge, I didn't have chance to please the weather or scenery. The seemingly highway was stupidly designed the repetition of uphills and downhills. Of course my favorite was downhills. When It came an uphill it was torture. Surprisingly my girls were so strong.

We managed to get the last rest area in Queens. They provided bananas, cheese crackers, energy bars, raisins and of course water. We ate some and had some rest. I was exhausted but so excited by the fact that we were almost there!!

The bridge from Queens to Staten was long and windy. Also, you can easily tell that the first half was so uphill. We peddled without thinking. No fun, no complains, just peddle. There was no such thing endless hell, oh boy, we made it, we were finally going down without peddling. We reached the top level of the bridge. Only we had was downhill. Hooray!

We arrived the festival. It was not a goal yet but looked like goal or almost goal. A man with microphone yelled at my daughter" The young lady in lavender!! you did it!! So proud of you !!" my younger one brushed a little by the compliment and the excitement. Yes, we made it! I'm so grateful to my daughters and husband. Without them I never finish the race.

We'd really loved to stay more time at the festival but hurried to the ferry terminal. We boarded the ferry with our bikes all exhausted. We didn't even bother to go out to watch the statue of liberty from the ferry even though we had a perfect view of her.

Our race hadn't finished yet. We had to ride back to our parking spot which was 62nd street. We realised that when we reached our car we completed the race. There was no option not doing that. Then finally we made it, mission accomplished!!

That was the one of the greatest day in my life. I really really proud of my girls!

Whatta..

As some of you know, I've started the new blog about my dog Toby in Japanese a few month ago. Surprisingly but reasonably, the number I've posted so far in the Toby's blog topped this my primary one which I've had for 9 months. In my thought the ratio of English to Japanese is 1% to 99%. You can tell how hard for me to formulate English to write this crappy blog comparing Japanese one although it's as crappy as the other one. However that's the reason I'm writing this in English!! I'd like to express myself in English. I declare I'm not quitting and will keep up half the frequency of the posting in Japanese blog or..maybe..one third or at least one forth...

race to nowhere

I saw this documentary film at the nearby high school auditorium. As you can tell from its title, it's the alarm bell from the children who are exposed the severe competition to get in the prestigious college.



One of the children said that her least favorite word was "and". Every time she describes herself by saying " I 'm a straight A student.", an interviewer or whoever it is probably all of us continues saying "And?". She has to say " Well, I participated in soccer team.." and then "And ?", " Well..I was in volunteer group" and then "And?"..and on and on.



They have to be smart, but that's not enough. They have to be popular and sporty and social and ..our demand is endless. They are tortured literally by our ultra high expectations and then trade off their valuable high school time to get in the college without preparing for college academically.



Same thing in Japan of course, but the big difference is that students are most of the time evaluated only by the entrance exam.





I use to think American way is fair and softer than Japanese one. If you are not good at memorizing things and happens to be a bad grade student, you still have chance to show off your different aspect to get in the college I mean your "right fit" college.





It must have been true and supposed to be true now. However in this modern society, am I the only one who feels "right fit" or "unique" sound like "loser"? I know, I know, saying such is a bad idea and in spite of this I always declare every each is divine being and should be unique and I LOVE the idea like that, I really do. Trust me, I'm not that bad...but then am i valuing my children by only they have? Am I satisfied with what they have? The answer is No. I force them to do extra work and expect good grade all the time (not the "Chinese mother" way, trust me again!). Am I torturing them? my babies? what a contradiction!!! Why do I have to force them to study hard? I bet I'm not teaching them the joy to learn I wish I do you know...


The film concluded that WE are the ones who are running on the running machine. Nobody is forcing me but can't help running, because the floor appears endlessly after every step I made to move me forward with knowing going to nowhere. The quitting means falling.

We really should take a break once in a while otherwise we might overheat and burn our future.

you'll be called

As come to think of the catastrophe in Japan, many people including me is feeling irritation for not doing anything for people who's suffering. Some are depressed, some are screaming or some blame someone for not doing anything or doing it wrong way. Everybody is having chaos in their mind sadly.

I found the article from my favorite writer's blog which guided how we should set our state of mind right now. He said all we have to do is not being obsessed "do something". Stay calm and grounded, live your life as it supposed to be. Someday you will be called.

It may not be the time for you now but when they need you, you'll come across the way you can help. It will take time to rehabilitate the damage doubtlessly. You have time to get prepare. You might not know how or for what but just live, learn, work and prepare.

We have to be a big believer. You'll see.