i'm fighting

I've removed this blog from my profile.

Many of my audience is Japanese who follows my dog blog. There is no point for them to see this blog's title in my profile. Some of them can read English, but this blog is too personal for them. They don't have to know what books I read or what opinion i have for some specific matter unless it's about my dogs. Some might be interested in stranger's personal life, then i don't feel comfortable for it.

See, I have some good reasons to vanish this from my profile. What happened next? I hardly post in here since then.

I swear there was no intention to quit the blog or I was willing to become a laziest blogger. but it just happened.

I realized that the sense to be seen is very good motivation to keep doing something. Like a running on the busy street in the cool running wear. In the first place i'm doing this only for myself i mean for my sake, but gradually the laziness tries to befriend with me. Gradually I would accept him. Then procrastination starts.

Now i'm struggling to fight back the laziness. You'll see..

To be continued hopefully.

Jewelry for a cause

My daughter and her friends had a little booth in their school fair. They sold hand made jewelry, bracelets and flowers. They are raising money for animal shelters. For putting the booth, they had some meetings with the Principle and convinced him. They made beautiful leaflets to explain what they are helping for. They've spent a lot of time for work on their jewelry and bracelets. Here they were. Within 3 hours, they raised 350 dollars!! It's quite a money kids can earn. I wonder how I can get such amount of money by myself..no way for me. I'm so impressed and proud of them.

reading

Yes, finally I had time to read at my favorite spot.

I was in this local library with my kids and their friend. While they were researching on the project I made myself comfortable on this sofa. The room I was in was the mystery section. There are four comfortable seats which are upholstered by nice damask. The very last arm sofa which faces its back to the aisle is my favorite one. That makes me face only to the bookshelves, so I was completely surrounded by thousands of books. Even though I was reading my kindle I still love the books which made out of paper and ink. I love their physical weight and especially the smell. What was I reading? I know I have a lot of un-read books in my kindle most of them are so informative and enlightmental, occasionally for my challenge and my knowledge I read them. However the idle gravity always pulls me to the easy thrilling reading. Now I'm reading 'If tomorrow comes' by Sydney Sheldon. The heroin is always strong and beautiful and super lucky all the time in his story. There was the saying, "you can go anywhere without moving an inch, this is what the books for." Mmm...I like it!

bike new york

I can't believe we did it. We rode all the way 42 miles.

It was 8am at the South of Central Park. We started the tour from this point. Two years ago we lined up at the starting point, Battery Park at 7:30am, it was so crowded with participants that we had to push our bikes till the district of the wall street. It was raining and cold we were so miserable. Being all wet and exhausted became an enough excuse to leave the tour at the Central Park. We've learned the lesson from that experience.

The weather cooperated us this year. We peddled lightly on the path of Central Park which were filled with beautiful flowers and new green of endless trees. After the park we entered Harlem. The scenery had been changed completely. All the beautiful green had disappeared and I saw a lot of stores with guarded by iron shutters and spray painted old brick walls. I wondered "Am i hearing the music?" Yes, I was. some group of people played drums to cheer us up with Zumba. After while, I heard girls singing gospel. It was so heart warming.

Then we reached the second boro Bronx and turned our backs to the south again. We rode back on the east side of Manhattan and reached at the Queensboro bridge. That place is where we parked our car. we were supposed to leave the tour at this point. But we didn't! As a matter of fact I was ready to leave the tour, but my girls didn't. They begged me to continue the race. Well..we weren't tired yet and weather was nice..there was no reason to quit. We continued peddling with a slight anxiety of where we were heading and how we can get back!!

The course led us to Astoria, Queens which was the third boro we entered. The atmosphere was so homey. We rode in between the tiny cozy houses, some residences came out to watch us cheerfully or curiously. Then we reached Brooklyn the forth boro. I thought we had reached Soho or some cool arty place. That was Williamsburg. There we came. the Brooklyn bridge was the last chance for us to get back to Manhattan otherwise we have to ride till the goal. I didn't even dream of finishing the tour. Now we must leave. However, my girls again. "Mom! once you started, you have to finish!" Yyyeeessss...but can we? "Yes, we can!" then we kept peddling.

From that point to the Verenzano bridge, I didn't have chance to please the weather or scenery. The seemingly highway was stupidly designed the repetition of uphills and downhills. Of course my favorite was downhills. When It came an uphill it was torture. Surprisingly my girls were so strong.

We managed to get the last rest area in Queens. They provided bananas, cheese crackers, energy bars, raisins and of course water. We ate some and had some rest. I was exhausted but so excited by the fact that we were almost there!!

The bridge from Queens to Staten was long and windy. Also, you can easily tell that the first half was so uphill. We peddled without thinking. No fun, no complains, just peddle. There was no such thing endless hell, oh boy, we made it, we were finally going down without peddling. We reached the top level of the bridge. Only we had was downhill. Hooray!

We arrived the festival. It was not a goal yet but looked like goal or almost goal. A man with microphone yelled at my daughter" The young lady in lavender!! you did it!! So proud of you !!" my younger one brushed a little by the compliment and the excitement. Yes, we made it! I'm so grateful to my daughters and husband. Without them I never finish the race.

We'd really loved to stay more time at the festival but hurried to the ferry terminal. We boarded the ferry with our bikes all exhausted. We didn't even bother to go out to watch the statue of liberty from the ferry even though we had a perfect view of her.

Our race hadn't finished yet. We had to ride back to our parking spot which was 62nd street. We realised that when we reached our car we completed the race. There was no option not doing that. Then finally we made it, mission accomplished!!

That was the one of the greatest day in my life. I really really proud of my girls!

Whatta..

As some of you know, I've started the new blog about my dog Toby in Japanese a few month ago. Surprisingly but reasonably, the number I've posted so far in the Toby's blog topped this my primary one which I've had for 9 months. In my thought the ratio of English to Japanese is 1% to 99%. You can tell how hard for me to formulate English to write this crappy blog comparing Japanese one although it's as crappy as the other one. However that's the reason I'm writing this in English!! I'd like to express myself in English. I declare I'm not quitting and will keep up half the frequency of the posting in Japanese blog or..maybe..one third or at least one forth...

race to nowhere

I saw this documentary film at the nearby high school auditorium. As you can tell from its title, it's the alarm bell from the children who are exposed the severe competition to get in the prestigious college.



One of the children said that her least favorite word was "and". Every time she describes herself by saying " I 'm a straight A student.", an interviewer or whoever it is probably all of us continues saying "And?". She has to say " Well, I participated in soccer team.." and then "And ?", " Well..I was in volunteer group" and then "And?"..and on and on.



They have to be smart, but that's not enough. They have to be popular and sporty and social and ..our demand is endless. They are tortured literally by our ultra high expectations and then trade off their valuable high school time to get in the college without preparing for college academically.



Same thing in Japan of course, but the big difference is that students are most of the time evaluated only by the entrance exam.





I use to think American way is fair and softer than Japanese one. If you are not good at memorizing things and happens to be a bad grade student, you still have chance to show off your different aspect to get in the college I mean your "right fit" college.





It must have been true and supposed to be true now. However in this modern society, am I the only one who feels "right fit" or "unique" sound like "loser"? I know, I know, saying such is a bad idea and in spite of this I always declare every each is divine being and should be unique and I LOVE the idea like that, I really do. Trust me, I'm not that bad...but then am i valuing my children by only they have? Am I satisfied with what they have? The answer is No. I force them to do extra work and expect good grade all the time (not the "Chinese mother" way, trust me again!). Am I torturing them? my babies? what a contradiction!!! Why do I have to force them to study hard? I bet I'm not teaching them the joy to learn I wish I do you know...


The film concluded that WE are the ones who are running on the running machine. Nobody is forcing me but can't help running, because the floor appears endlessly after every step I made to move me forward with knowing going to nowhere. The quitting means falling.

We really should take a break once in a while otherwise we might overheat and burn our future.

you'll be called

As come to think of the catastrophe in Japan, many people including me is feeling irritation for not doing anything for people who's suffering. Some are depressed, some are screaming or some blame someone for not doing anything or doing it wrong way. Everybody is having chaos in their mind sadly.

I found the article from my favorite writer's blog which guided how we should set our state of mind right now. He said all we have to do is not being obsessed "do something". Stay calm and grounded, live your life as it supposed to be. Someday you will be called.

It may not be the time for you now but when they need you, you'll come across the way you can help. It will take time to rehabilitate the damage doubtlessly. You have time to get prepare. You might not know how or for what but just live, learn, work and prepare.

We have to be a big believer. You'll see.

It's been ten days

Time has passed so fast since the earthquake in Japan. My life hasn't changed a bit on the other hand millions of people are suffering. I did a little contribution and planned some charity in school, but nobody was saved by me. I feel nothing but sad and guilty.



As I say so, why would I not go on the busy street in the city and hold a little box and ask people "Please help Japan!" to collect money. Somehow I have this twisted feeling for that. I wish I didn't have, but I do.



I can't help noticing many groups which organized by Japanese in N.Y. has started a drive to raise funds.



Hasn't America sent enormous amount of money, foods and well trained rescue people to Japan already? Who paid for it? Everybody in U.S who is paying tax. How come I can ask them money again and again with having a saving account for myself?



For me, it's OK to have a charity event or something like that. Not only OK but also we really should. We should donate money that we earn or save to help our people. But I just can't beg only for money.



I might get yelled by people who are trying to fill their boxes. They might think I'm an egoist or a cold hearted unpatriotic person.



A few days ago, I've seen this Japanese lady who were on the seemingly slum street in Thailand to ask contribution on TV. To my surprise, many people gave her some change or bills! I was so moved their generous acts but wait, they don't even wear shoes!



Apart from the damaged area, people in Japan are still having affluent life comparing to those people. At least they have enough money to buy extra food and batteries to stock.



Thinking of people who are suffering pain and cold and fear in devastated area, it's natural to think "do something", but for most of people it's not that giving up their saving account. I don't think 3 % tax raise for the specific area will get unanimous agreement. I don't blame them because I'm the one of them.



That doesn't mean I can give up searching for things I can do. But for me it is not the holding a box.


It's time for us Japanese to face and fight our ego as much as we can.



Thank you very much for your contribution, America and the World! We might need some more help from you constantly but we are also finding the way out.

earth quake in Japan

Magnitude 8.8. I'd never seen that number. It was just horrible.

I have most of my family member in the south of Japan fortunately they didn't get any impact. Some of my family and friends in Tokyo were shaken and had a blackout for a while but they are OK now.

It's such a pain to watch Tsunami sucking up whole village. A numerous number of people had to end their lives, lost loved ones and everything or started to suffer from physical and mental pain all of the sudden.

The worst part hasn't ended yet. We'll have endless problems to face from now on. We really have to believe and be brave.

So sad and helpless, all I can do is pray.

food in a week

How much food do you eat in a week?

I happened to see the interesting study which compare the household's food consumption in a week. They took pictures of food the family members eat on their dining or kitchen table and showed the expenditure for them. Participant were very international from Americans to refugee camp people.

The biggest eater was German family. The parents and two teenage boys eat over $500, and I saw a lot of meat and bread and beer on the table.

The American family eats like $350 per week. There were big pizzas and the container of Mac Donald's and a lot of soda bottles.

Japanese family had rice, fish, soy products and Cup Noodles before them. Their dining table was a tiny low table nearby the TV which was on.

The family in Malaysia eats a lot of vegetables and rice. They spend about $100 for food but it was quite a big family.

They lowest expenditure was of course refugee camp family. They showed only two basketball size of sacks seemingly some kind of grain in them and some tiny pouches of spice or something. They costs less than $2. $2 in a week!

I felt sorry for those poor family, they must be starving. We in the developed country people must do something for all those people.

Meanwhile I was stunned how much difference the food can make for people. The fact is not so much from outside.

If you compare two people, one eats 150% all the time and the other eats 50%, they still shape like human beings. One may be little bit plump and the other may be skinny, but the plump one wouldn't grow extra arm or anything.

But inside, 150% eater grows excess fat in his blood vessel. There are much risk for 150% eater to die for his heart attack more than the one for 50% eater's death for luck of nutrition.

Why would we eat then? Less eating may save your life and save money. It's easy in theory but ....I know it's hard. It's like karma we have to suffer for too much waste and too much worldly pleasure.

acupuncture

I drove all the way down to Flushing, Queens to get an acupuncture treatment for my seasonal allergy.

Last year, I thought the doctor was a wizard made my symptom disappear immediately. I came in with watery eyes, itchy throat and runny nose, I was completely miserable. He put some needles on my back and forearms and the assistant connected every needles with a wire and plugged it in. My arms were jumpy every 3 second for 15 min treatment. I didn't know how they worked, maybe stimulate my immune system or blocking allergen, but it worked somehow.

Here I was. I'm well prepared to come here even before the allergy season started so unfortunately I wasn't able to experience the dramatic change like last year, but I know the preparation is always better than too late.

I may have to come back here every 4 weeks in the season, it doesn't bother me cause I know it's worth it. Hopefully I wouldn't have to WAIT 3 hours next time, agh....

China Town. I always lost my sense I'm in N.Y, or this IS N.Y various culture mix to gether in small area.

thoughts float

I went to this yoga place nearby my neighborhood today. Once in a while I take the class on Monday at 9:30am.

The class is Anusara level 2-3, bit challenging usually I love to play with new asana(posture) every time. For some reason the instructor didn't give us a lot, instead of that looong savasana(corps pose) and meditation today.

My thoughts was too distracted when I meditated, even I could make a list of my distractions.

1, What's for supper?
2, Oh-my, I'm running out of rice.
3, Should I drive to Japanese grocery store to get Japanese rice on my way home or should I use the Jasmin rice I had like for 2 years.
4, I've never thought of the expiration day of rice. The Jasmin rice could be all dried up or disgusting if I would eat.
5, Do I have clothes for Spring?
6, I should add some color to my wardrobe.
7, Should I stop by Lord and Taylor to get some new clothes?
8, Oh-no, I forgot the coupon.
9, Plus I dress so sloppy to go in the store today.
10, The tank top the teacher is wearing is showing you-know-where-part too much.
11, Can that distract male practitioner(or even female)?
12, Is it only me thinking such weird nobody cares thing?

My thoughts floated and floated, and worst part was I didn't even try to stop thinking! Everybody can meditate. Yes, I can, for 2 seconds!

yoga day

The other day I went to the city to have a yoga lesson. The class was great that made my energy drained and at the same time fueled up.

After that I met up with my friend at this cool place next to the studio for healthy vegan lunch.

Spending time in my very limited free time like this really uplifts myself. I can do my chore cheerfully more than usual(or MUCH more than) when I have some plan for myself.

Usually I hate limit but I found that the limitation which include my household works, taking care of and driving around my kids and dog walking makes me feel more thankful for this 4hours.

a mouse

He is not our hamster. He is a mouse!!

First I'd noticed somebody nibbled a loaf of bread on the kitchen counter, correction not someone but I could tell I had a mouse in my kitchen immediately because I'd heard someone was telling horrible mouse invading story the other day. So it was like "OK, it's my turn" and that fact really freaked me out.

I went to this store to find mouse traps then I saw them when I just stepped in the store on my left side. It seemed like bestseller products now or all the time.

That made me feel much better because having a mouse in my kitchen could mean having a filthy place then that indicates I'm not a good housekeeper. Nobody want that reputation, right? But now I found I'm not the only one and it's OK to have a mouse in my kitchen unless I would ignore the fact which I'm not because I'm here for getting rid of it.

I bought this box which had a super sticky sheet in it.

I put it on my kitchen counter just in case with cookie crumb in the box even though it has yummy smell to lure a mouse already. Then my family and I went off to the dog park for 2 hours.

When we came back, we found him struggling to get out from the box.

We literally screamed when we found some creature in it. But wait...he was cute!! We expect a dusty gray evil red eyed mouse to trap not this watery eyed little fellow.

My husband (despite the fact he was cute I was not able to get close to him for some reason)freed him using vegetable oil to take him off from the sticky sheet. He put him in the plastic container (of course without touching, gosh he was so good at it) and we drove for a few miles to find a place to release the mouse safely for both of us.

I doubt that the place was safe for a vegetable oil dripping mouse but he sniffed on the ground and climbed up the tree trunk anyway.

I felt like kicked out my free loader forcefully and hope he is doing well without us.

smell of spring

Toby couldn't help sniffing on the ground while he was out today. He definitely smells spring.


We had a lot of snow this winter and the ground had been covered by snow and ice for 2 months. Even I was amazed how our driveway looked wide after snow melted just a little bit since last evening.

Unfortunately it was still cold and wind felt chilly outside so my girls still wore ski jacket and sheep skin boots but I can tell spring is around the corner!!

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Isn't it a little bit funny that we have such a short memory. Even though we have decades of life experience, the basic seasonal and climate change agitate us. Every summer all we do is complaining about the heat knowing it is supposed to be as well as about winter chill. In that sense we are one of those creatures who live the moment... but, wait..noo animals never complain about such things! they just accept things as they are. We have a lot to learn from them.

locks of love

My little one got a hair cut. It was not for herself but for somebody else.

I'll send her hair to "locks of love" organization who would make wigs using donated hair from all over the country.
She grew her hair this long.

Her stylist made several locks to cut. Each locks are supposed to 10 inch minimum to make wigs. One wig requires 12 peoples hair. She cut 11 inches

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Donating hair is not easy thing for girls. I'm really proud of her and appreciate the "locks of love" organization for giving a chance to her to do something good for people who need some help.

Helping somebody grows children as well as being helped.

Ra-ku-go night

Rakugo is a Japanese traditional story telling.

The story teller sits on a flat cushion wearing kimono and tells funny stories which have been told over and over. The story itself usually well known already but the way he tells make the story funny.

The teller use his(most of teller are men) fan and a handkerchief to express the scene. The fan can be a pair of chopsticks or the cloth can be a wallet or else.

Anyway we had the opportunity to go and see Rakugo the other day. It was fun. My younger one got bored at the last half though I really enjoyed it.

It was funny for me to experience Japanese traditional thing in the first time in here NY.

Toby? Tobi?

Our dog's name is Toby. It's registered to his microchip but not officially enough we haven't registered to our village yet.

My husband wants to convert his name from Toby to Tobi. He's heard Tobi is a common dog name in Italy from his Italian co-league.

Why Italy? We'd decided to have a dog while we were traveling in Italy, actually it was in Pisa yeah that place was famous for the leaning tower.

At first, he wanted to name him Galileo the genius who designed the tower long time ago. The idea seems perfect we can live with our summer trip memory but it might be a easy quetion why we didn't name our beautiful puppy "Galileo". It's so weird..

Well..still it will be nice to add a little Italian spice on "Toby".

The problem is we have already engrave "TOBY" on his name tag as well as in microchip. May that cause any confusion? Most of all I don't feel like changing it. Toby is a perfect name, Tobi seems so something-missing-imperfect name for me. Well...what should i do...?

Battle hymn of the tiger mother (book)

Despite her effort to make fun of herself, I or most of the readers heard only loud bragging from this book. After the blood puddling piano and violin lessons, her older one had a piano recital at Carnegie hall and the little one achieved superb reputation from world famous violin teacher.


Moreover many of the readers of course including myself are disgusted by the way she bosses and insults her own children, threatened them to burn their stuffed animals for not playing instruments well or took down the birthday card they wrote for herself saying she deserved better.



I was wondering why the book sold so well so far. This could be accused for the child abuse (verbally, saying "garbage" to the child can't be said in usual circumstances) or the author would be considered as having anger control disorder.


I happened to see the article about it on magazine "New Yorker", it says "secretly American parents wanted to have a permission to be tough on their children, tired to say good-job to their children for mediocre thing, annoyed to be afraid of hurting their feelings. It was said.



Every reader should be smart enough not to adopt her entire way of course, meanwhile we should be a parents who can say big no to our children. That's how we age 30-40's parents generation got to be raised. That may have been caused some problems such as deppression or low self estimeem, but not for everybody. Most of us survaived over the hard no-is-no parenting.


In addition I found immigrant mentarity in there. For the successful life in the U.S, the first generation doubtlessly toil super hard. They learned of course the education was the key for next generation to get up on the same stage with Americans. The most certain way for them was to have their children get the professional skills like doctors, lawers, accountant or musisian.


Time magazine shows the statistic 50% of Asian-American over 25 years old has bachelor degree or more in US. Isn't that amazing? Most of them are Chinese or Korean immigrant. While their parents barely speak English, what an accomplishment!

I myself am a mother of daughters and I'm one of those minority person in U.S. I can tell she was only a mother just wanting her girls success because that is her success. But let me tell her something. "Stop pushing so hard on yourself. You are doing great job. Be happy!" I bet she'll tell me "Don't worry, loser!". Oh, well...

the first ordeal

While we were skiing for the first time this year...

Dogs were in this dog's day care center.

There were several dogs already. Toby had never been in the same room with stranger dogs before. At the instance we came in, two Jack Russels barked and growled to Toby, he freaked out and whined behind my legs.

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"He'll be fine!" the owner of this place who was so nice and a believer of the concept of the power of the pack from Ceser Milan's show announced us.

As a result he was fine. He survived whole 12 hours without us.

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I have to admit I missed him. I happened to smell Toby's puppy smell from my gloves on the ski lift and I missed him. It was like Mom missed her baby boy after he left for his nursery school for the first time.

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After he overcame his first obstacle, you know what ?, he started lifting his leg when he pees!! I wonder what he learned...macho?! oh, nooo..

winter wonderland 2

They were having a GREAT time in snow.

After that...poor Toby's wearing a lot of snow balls on his belly. It took us to comb them off for 20 min.

The girls tried the longest sleigh ride on the drive way. Snow bumper made it much more fun!!

Roofed bridge. I felt like breaking into the barn by car and went through it.

On the way home, tired kids and puppy shared the pillow for a few hours.

It was a perfect winter wonderland. Thanks!!

winter wonderland

One weekend on January, we drove up to Vermont.

Our wonderful friend generously invited us to their beautiful cabin.

Felt like I was in a drawing of Christmas card, this was the perfect cabin you can imagine of, beautifully made, cozy and homey inside, so quiet all you can hear is the crackle of logs in a fireplace and of course laughter of children.

Dads and girls and dogs went to walk in the woods.

Mystic fetches this log size wood.

Toby fetches this chopstick size twig.

Do you guys have to be that close?

The curtain of icicles. In here time was melting so slowly as well.

doggy playdate

Let me introduce my girlfriend Mystic.

The first time I met her I was scared to death because she was huge. Moreover she insisted to play ball with me. she pounced around me with holding a ball which size was as big as my head in her mouth. I was shaking and whined, all i can do was hiding behind my mommy's legs.
But, I've been growing everyday. I was not the coward Toby today. I played with her in her dog run. I challenged to get her tail and tried to nibble her ankles. didn't make it though..maybe next time...

the first yoga in 2011

She is the founder of Jivamukti Yoga at NY. It was the second time i participated her annual workshop.
She asked us what yoga was. She asked us to feel, listen, imagine and think of love.

Since this class was mainly for advanced practitioners, I had hard time to keep up. I was wishing only if I would be able to do forarm stand.

But wait, last year I was scared to do headstand which I can do now. OK, at the next year's her workshop, I'll invert on my forarms. This is my New Year's resolution for yoga.

Run! Toby, run!

We went to this dog park on New Years day.

Toby ran, ran and ran.
His floppy ears were flown up to the air like a bunny's when he went down.

When he was going UP, his floppies allowed gravity pull down. A running fur ball.

Yipieee!!!

a snow dog

How many snow storms have we had already? Five or six? and right in this moment we are having the other one...sob...

My husband and I are so sick of shoveling and my kids are tired of making a igloo or snowmen anymore, but there is this guy who always happy in snow and has never cared the chilliness.

He pounces, dives, rolls and digs on snow. It was so adorable the way he mesmerized (or tried to eat?) by falling snow.

Christmas in the City

On Christmas day in 2010, we drove up to the city to see the famous Christmas tree in the world.
This was not the first time to see the tree for us except for Toby. Did Toby get to see the tree and enjoyed it? Oh, no...he is a dog after all. But you know..we wanted to include him to our family tradition. He enjoyed cuddling up in my arms, because that place was literally packed.

He enjoyed the Central Park walk very much. It was a lot of work though. He stopped everytime he saw other dogs, was scared horses and carriege and scared ducks on the pond to death by barking. He definetly needs walk training.

This was our first outing with Toby, it was so much fun.